olayyy

No one told me that zumba was dangerous. Nobody warned me of the health hazards. No. I had to find out the hard way. 

A couple months ago my sister Emily, my friend Jessica, and myself decided to try out a zumba class. We found the gym eventually...you had to get to it by this back ally and down dark hallways and up down stairs and then there was this random room that resembled a gym and another room where the zumba class was held. That should have been a warning. The instructor was very friendly and told us to select small weights from the bin as this was zumba toning. Real exercise here ladies. She suggested 1 lb weights but if we thought that wasn't enough to feel the burn we could go for the 2 pounders. Obviously I selected the heavier weights as come on, this is zumba, not crossfit. Little did I know...

By the 43rd ra-cha-cha song I was losing feeling in my arms. I just wanted to crumple into a heap on the floor and gasp for air. I hoisted my now-very-heavy 2 lb weights into the air for a final set of bicep curls then swung them to the left when it happened. One of those tin-teeny-little weights met my tinier-teenier-littler pinky finger on my other hand and smashed the living daylights out of it. 

It has been 2 months since I attended zumba class. But my pinky finger looks worse everyday and people constantly ask me what happened to turn it so black and blue. 

I just smile and say, "working out."

My 4-year-old niece Zoe sitting at the table drinking a smoothie: "this is Perrrrrfect." (in a high pitched british accent)
Me: "haha, where did you learn that?"
Looks at me incredulously for a minute: "YOU!!" 

I love being an aunt.

favorite quote of the day

'I know I'm crazy,

    but it keeps me sane.'

-J. Aviel

newness

Love changes people. You can tell if someone is well-loved when their eyes sparkle, when they don't have to try too hard, when they smile for no reason. Love builds confidence. It is a certainty, a safety. A knowing you are never alone, even when apart.

Hate cannot stand when true Love enters the picture. Anger cannot be maintained, grudges cannot continue to fester. Hurt and sadness begin to heal when exposed to it.

It is not infatuation (an object of extravagant, short-lived passion), it is steady, it never wavers, it never fails.

I have been changed by Love this year. I can honestly look back 12 months at the girl I was and say with great relief and thankfulness: "I am not the same!" Nor do I ever want to be the same. I allowed Love in. I allowed Jesus to rearrange me. It was the most painful, terrible, eye-opening, heart-wrenching, teary-eyed, hurtful year of my life. And I wouldn't exchange a day. I am not the same.

Praise. God.

When Jesus comes He comes with a fierceness that nothing can stand against. His love is not weak, nor is it always comforting. It is Strong and it will change you. Sometimes that involves breaking. Not to hurt or to harm, but out of compassion and for our good. Because He is good. It is true that at our weakest point, when we've come to the end of us, we find our strength in Him. As I look back on 2012 I am grateful for this Love, for my Love. Thank you Lord for allowing me to live another year, every day is a gift. Help me to remember that every day and not take a breath for granted. Thank you that I am not the same, change me to be more like you during 2013. I want my love to match Yours.

'Take my life and let it be 
Consecrated Lord to Thee
Take my moments and my days
Let them flow in endless praise
Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.'
-Frances R. Havergal

'Heartbreak don't exist when it's been torn apart by Love' - MJB