what a drizzly day. oh Sandy...you are so persistent. we missed the big storm, NYC was hit pretty bad. New Jersey's underwater. but my house was spared. my family has a roof over their heads. when I turn on the shower, hot water comes out. I have internet and a working refrigerator. and then to think of all the people who lost their power, or homes, or family members. but I was spared. I can't say I understand how that works, only that God is the only Constant in life and no day can be taken for granted.
the other morning I woke up and just lied in bed, relishing the fact that I had use of all my limbs. I was remembering when I had fractured two vertebrae in my back and couldn't do anything but sit in agony for three months. or the times I've been too sick to eat or speak. and yet here I am, healthy and cared for. listening to the rain outside my window while the rest of my family sleeps (which is probably what I should be doing now, haha). oh the mysteries of life.
I hope I never take my blessings for granted. I hope I strive to be the best I can be at whatever I do and wherever I am. I want to be a good employee, sister, and friend. I want to make at least one person smile every day. I want to be a joy to be around, not a drag.
I want to love people. like really LOVE them. unconditionally. like Jesus loves me. I want to be used by God for something bigger than myself. I'm so thankful that He is the Redeemer of our souls, and can take a lump of dirt like me and shape it into something useful and beautiful. clearly, He has His work cut out for Him :)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Dorothy
it has always been a secret desire of mine to help an old lady rake her leaves. partly because both of my grandmas live in distant lands and I rarely see them. partly because I NEVER get to rake leaves. like ever. (woah, I almost just burst into song there...)
you know like in Frog and Toad when they both want to do something nice for the other, so they go to each other's houses and rake the other's leaves into a great big pile? I think a brisk wind blows all their work to smithereens, BUT it is filled with amphibious love and all that raking looked like fun. this must have been the seed that planted such a love of raking leaves in my heart. I know most people don't share this love...clearly they never read Frog and Toad as children.
so there I was today, strolling merrily along various residential streets on my lunch break, breathing in the crisp autumn air, watching someone paint a house, smelling cut grass, feeling the crunch of fall beneath my feet WHEN! I saw her. a frail, little old lady bent over a rake, slowly brushing leaves into a pile. she looked up and I said a rather exuberant, "hello!" she sort of said hi back, but it didn't look like she was having the best day. I took a few more steps but knew this moment was destined. if that had been my dear old Grams I would never let her rake her own leaves if I was there to do it. I wanted to be a grandkid and do grandkid things. I turned back, "want me to help you rake your leaves?" "huh?" apparently she was hard of hearing..."want me to HELP you RAKE your LEAVES?!" I guess the answer was yes because in a minute she had gotten an extra rake and between her and me we scared every last one of those brown leaves out of that little lawn and onto the side of the road. I thought she was a crabby old lady at first, but she warmed up in a few minutes and soon we were gabbing along merrily. she told me all about her European cruise this past summer and how Iceland wasn't at all what she had imagined. she told me about her African safari trip the year before and how she liked her tour guide so much she brought him over to live with her for a month. she wished he could stay, but it would be impossible to get him a green card...
as I listened to her talk I felt like I was in heaven. grandkid heaven. in my mind we were sitting all cozy-like over a cup of tea...cookies just to the side...like I would imagine grandmas and granddaughters do. I wanted to hear all about her life and her family and her trips across the world. I wanted to know if she was ever married and what her life had been like growing up. I sort of wanted to ask her if she would adopt me as an honorary grandchild. but before I got too carried away with my daydreaming I said goodbye and jogged back in time for my afternoon shift.
a smile stuck on my face for the rest of the day. I got a whole lot more than just a fuzzy feeling of fulfilling a lifelong dream. I had made a friend.
you know like in Frog and Toad when they both want to do something nice for the other, so they go to each other's houses and rake the other's leaves into a great big pile? I think a brisk wind blows all their work to smithereens, BUT it is filled with amphibious love and all that raking looked like fun. this must have been the seed that planted such a love of raking leaves in my heart. I know most people don't share this love...clearly they never read Frog and Toad as children.
so there I was today, strolling merrily along various residential streets on my lunch break, breathing in the crisp autumn air, watching someone paint a house, smelling cut grass, feeling the crunch of fall beneath my feet WHEN! I saw her. a frail, little old lady bent over a rake, slowly brushing leaves into a pile. she looked up and I said a rather exuberant, "hello!" she sort of said hi back, but it didn't look like she was having the best day. I took a few more steps but knew this moment was destined. if that had been my dear old Grams I would never let her rake her own leaves if I was there to do it. I wanted to be a grandkid and do grandkid things. I turned back, "want me to help you rake your leaves?" "huh?" apparently she was hard of hearing..."want me to HELP you RAKE your LEAVES?!" I guess the answer was yes because in a minute she had gotten an extra rake and between her and me we scared every last one of those brown leaves out of that little lawn and onto the side of the road. I thought she was a crabby old lady at first, but she warmed up in a few minutes and soon we were gabbing along merrily. she told me all about her European cruise this past summer and how Iceland wasn't at all what she had imagined. she told me about her African safari trip the year before and how she liked her tour guide so much she brought him over to live with her for a month. she wished he could stay, but it would be impossible to get him a green card...
as I listened to her talk I felt like I was in heaven. grandkid heaven. in my mind we were sitting all cozy-like over a cup of tea...cookies just to the side...like I would imagine grandmas and granddaughters do. I wanted to hear all about her life and her family and her trips across the world. I wanted to know if she was ever married and what her life had been like growing up. I sort of wanted to ask her if she would adopt me as an honorary grandchild. but before I got too carried away with my daydreaming I said goodbye and jogged back in time for my afternoon shift.
a smile stuck on my face for the rest of the day. I got a whole lot more than just a fuzzy feeling of fulfilling a lifelong dream. I had made a friend.
Monday, October 8, 2012
living in an apple barrel
people. I'm surrounded by them. sometimes I wish I wasn't. I'd rather be surrounded by apples.
at least...I wish I could pick the best apples out of the bunch and throw the mushy, brown ones away. you know the kind - the kind that look tasty but only end up getting stuck in your teeth and leaving you with bad breath? those kind. and I'm talking about apples in a very figurative way. in other words, the people who take your nice happy day and sour it with their bad day. you know the saying 'one bad apple spoils the whole bunch?'. well it's also true that 'one person's bad day spoils everyone else's'. it takes just one person to be critical, or complain, or step on your toe, and immediately you're in a bad mood. that is, if you let yourself.
which in my case, is faaaar too easy to do.
and then there's those rare people you happen to come across every now and again who just brim over with good-apple-ness. you want to be next to them to see if it will rub off. they're crisp and delicious to the core and when you hang out with them you always leave feeling like you've tasted just a tiny bit of heaven. they encourage you. they strengthen you. they refresh you.
it makes me kind of wonder which apple I am.
at least...I wish I could pick the best apples out of the bunch and throw the mushy, brown ones away. you know the kind - the kind that look tasty but only end up getting stuck in your teeth and leaving you with bad breath? those kind. and I'm talking about apples in a very figurative way. in other words, the people who take your nice happy day and sour it with their bad day. you know the saying 'one bad apple spoils the whole bunch?'. well it's also true that 'one person's bad day spoils everyone else's'. it takes just one person to be critical, or complain, or step on your toe, and immediately you're in a bad mood. that is, if you let yourself.
which in my case, is faaaar too easy to do.
and then there's those rare people you happen to come across every now and again who just brim over with good-apple-ness. you want to be next to them to see if it will rub off. they're crisp and delicious to the core and when you hang out with them you always leave feeling like you've tasted just a tiny bit of heaven. they encourage you. they strengthen you. they refresh you.
it makes me kind of wonder which apple I am.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
who needs a therapist
Me: 'I don't know why I can't just be friends with a guy...'
Anna: 'but abby, you're pretty.'
Me: 'I'm not that pretty.'
Anna: 'but abby, you're fun to be around.'
Me: 'I'm not that fun to be around.'
Anna: '...well, I know that. and you know that...'
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