if I could be any animal in the world it would be a Peregrine Falcon. they can reach speeds over 200mph and have excellent hunting skills. swift, majestic, fierce.
however, if I were actually an animal I would be a goat. they can eat themselves to death simply because they are gluttons. they love food and won't stop eating it until their stomaches actually explode. there is a bowl full of chocolate covered craisens in our counter. or should I say there was a bowl of chocolate covered craisens on our counter. I think I ate 50 of them today. eww. I made Anna promise me she would make me work out tomorrow.
my thanksgiving was quite pleasant. it started out like a pile of poo and then I took a walk with Bebe and talked it out by the ponds. she listened intently. wagged her tail at all the appropriate times. in general let me know that I was not alone and there was someone there to understand. me scratching behind her ears had nothing to do with it, I am convinced. small beauties...I never want to take them for granted, and that morning I soaked them in with relish. thence the day took on a brighter shine and I went back inside to be surrounded by family, friends that are more like family, and adopted family. I love that. we did puzzles, played games, ate delicious food, talked about what we were thankful for and sang the goat song while doing dishes. hmm...I don't know why this goat theme keeps re-occuring. weird.
OH and I just remembered that Anna and Kiki labeled me the 'old goat' one sleepover because I wanted to go to bed and they wanted to stay up and talk all night and...it stuck. they still call me that. it's rude, but I love them. I think something like 'peregrine' would be far more suitable. or at least, it's something to aspire to, ha.
happy thanksgiving! :)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
happiness
the cold night air rushed at me and I was beginning to lose all feeling in my legs. I breathed in and smiled contentedly to myself inside my helmet. the stars were out. my fingers were numb. and I could not have possibly been happier. all was quiet except for the drone of the motor and the sound of air moving out of our way. no one to talk to. no problem to figure out. nothing to do except for hold on and enjoy the ride.
I want to spend the rest of my life on the back of a motorcycle.
I want to spend the rest of my life on the back of a motorcycle.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
put your dancing boots on
forget cats and dogs. the rain was coming down in the form of a herd of elephants. I knew by the time I made it to the barn to put the dog away I would be soaked, regardless of how fast I was going, so I walked. slowly. I was already in my pajamas and was about to go to bed when mom poked her head in my room and informed me that bebe was still outside (she barks incessantly if not put in her kennel at night) and I needed to go remedy the situation.
so here I was...with a raging headache, tired out of my mind, in my pajama pants, with rain [elephants] pouring down on me. I called and called for the canine to come to the barn but alas she was on the porch and I had to go get her and bring her back to the barn. needless to say, I was quite wet. it was just not a good time. and THEN something happened. right in that moment I was at a Y in the backroads of my mind. I could either be miserable, or I could dance in the rain.
I chose the latter. I spread my arms wide to the falling torrents, lifted my face into the dark night sky, and began to jump and spin around (which was as close to dancing as I could get with muck boots on). then I started to sing, 'gotta keep your head up, oh-ohhh, and you can let your hair down, yeah-eahhhh'. and that's pretty much it because I don't know the rest of the words, BUT it made me laugh at my ridiculousness and from there to my silly 'problems'.
I plan on dancing in the rain wayyyy more often.
so here I was...with a raging headache, tired out of my mind, in my pajama pants, with rain [elephants] pouring down on me. I called and called for the canine to come to the barn but alas she was on the porch and I had to go get her and bring her back to the barn. needless to say, I was quite wet. it was just not a good time. and THEN something happened. right in that moment I was at a Y in the backroads of my mind. I could either be miserable, or I could dance in the rain.
I chose the latter. I spread my arms wide to the falling torrents, lifted my face into the dark night sky, and began to jump and spin around (which was as close to dancing as I could get with muck boots on). then I started to sing, 'gotta keep your head up, oh-ohhh, and you can let your hair down, yeah-eahhhh'. and that's pretty much it because I don't know the rest of the words, BUT it made me laugh at my ridiculousness and from there to my silly 'problems'.
I plan on dancing in the rain wayyyy more often.
Monday, November 12, 2012
engine light
I got in my car, started it, then stared angrily at the stupid engine light that was still on. I was sort of wishing that little glowing symbol was just a up-way-too-late mirage from last night. but no, it was daylight and it was there for real. it still is actually. I should prob go check that out. I'd so much rather ignore it and see if it goes away.
I stare at my floor. it's covered with strewn clothing. I wish that would go away too. I used to be so organized. everything had to be in its designated place and I would get so mad at Anna if her side of the room was messy. then somewhere down the line we got our own rooms. hers is clean. mine is messy. I don't know what happened.
a mile long: the list I of things I should be doing right now. instead I went through my facebook albums and looked through all my pictures. it's weird what you've done in your life and totally forgotten about...until you see it plastered all over cyberspace. I think life is lived in little pockets of time. each one unique and frankly, strange, and then it's over and all you have is a picture. like those far-off drama camp pictures I found today. I did that?? like braces and bad haircuts and friends I thought were forever. it's weird looking back. I smile and then I want to cry and then I just want to sleep. yeah, mostly just sleep. I think that's the best way to deal with things, haha.
but do you know what I absolutely love about life? amidst all the questions and confusion and engine lights...there is beauty too. there is goodness and hope. I inhaled fresh air today. I had a dance party with a couple amazing 4 year olds. I laughed and ran in the wind and made chili for my family. and isn't that what life comes down to? those moments, even the little ones, that bring us joy? the ones where we forget ourselves (and our messy rooms) and simply enjoy each other? enjoy the air we breathe? enjoy life?
it's so easy to forget that our beating hearts are a gift from God. that we're not guaranteed a tomorrow. even if our cars break down and our jobs drive us crazy and our world goes to pot...we have a Hope beyond all that. how selfish I am. I wish I wasn't the first person I thought about all the time. now I think I'll go tell some people that I love them. I have a feeling it's going to be far more productive than regurgitating my past via facebook. and that's hard to beat. *ahem* :p
I stare at my floor. it's covered with strewn clothing. I wish that would go away too. I used to be so organized. everything had to be in its designated place and I would get so mad at Anna if her side of the room was messy. then somewhere down the line we got our own rooms. hers is clean. mine is messy. I don't know what happened.
a mile long: the list I of things I should be doing right now. instead I went through my facebook albums and looked through all my pictures. it's weird what you've done in your life and totally forgotten about...until you see it plastered all over cyberspace. I think life is lived in little pockets of time. each one unique and frankly, strange, and then it's over and all you have is a picture. like those far-off drama camp pictures I found today. I did that?? like braces and bad haircuts and friends I thought were forever. it's weird looking back. I smile and then I want to cry and then I just want to sleep. yeah, mostly just sleep. I think that's the best way to deal with things, haha.
but do you know what I absolutely love about life? amidst all the questions and confusion and engine lights...there is beauty too. there is goodness and hope. I inhaled fresh air today. I had a dance party with a couple amazing 4 year olds. I laughed and ran in the wind and made chili for my family. and isn't that what life comes down to? those moments, even the little ones, that bring us joy? the ones where we forget ourselves (and our messy rooms) and simply enjoy each other? enjoy the air we breathe? enjoy life?
it's so easy to forget that our beating hearts are a gift from God. that we're not guaranteed a tomorrow. even if our cars break down and our jobs drive us crazy and our world goes to pot...we have a Hope beyond all that. how selfish I am. I wish I wasn't the first person I thought about all the time. now I think I'll go tell some people that I love them. I have a feeling it's going to be far more productive than regurgitating my past via facebook. and that's hard to beat. *ahem* :p
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
what a curious dripping
what a drizzly day. oh Sandy...you are so persistent. we missed the big storm, NYC was hit pretty bad. New Jersey's underwater. but my house was spared. my family has a roof over their heads. when I turn on the shower, hot water comes out. I have internet and a working refrigerator. and then to think of all the people who lost their power, or homes, or family members. but I was spared. I can't say I understand how that works, only that God is the only Constant in life and no day can be taken for granted.
the other morning I woke up and just lied in bed, relishing the fact that I had use of all my limbs. I was remembering when I had fractured two vertebrae in my back and couldn't do anything but sit in agony for three months. or the times I've been too sick to eat or speak. and yet here I am, healthy and cared for. listening to the rain outside my window while the rest of my family sleeps (which is probably what I should be doing now, haha). oh the mysteries of life.
I hope I never take my blessings for granted. I hope I strive to be the best I can be at whatever I do and wherever I am. I want to be a good employee, sister, and friend. I want to make at least one person smile every day. I want to be a joy to be around, not a drag.
I want to love people. like really LOVE them. unconditionally. like Jesus loves me. I want to be used by God for something bigger than myself. I'm so thankful that He is the Redeemer of our souls, and can take a lump of dirt like me and shape it into something useful and beautiful. clearly, He has His work cut out for Him :)
the other morning I woke up and just lied in bed, relishing the fact that I had use of all my limbs. I was remembering when I had fractured two vertebrae in my back and couldn't do anything but sit in agony for three months. or the times I've been too sick to eat or speak. and yet here I am, healthy and cared for. listening to the rain outside my window while the rest of my family sleeps (which is probably what I should be doing now, haha). oh the mysteries of life.
I hope I never take my blessings for granted. I hope I strive to be the best I can be at whatever I do and wherever I am. I want to be a good employee, sister, and friend. I want to make at least one person smile every day. I want to be a joy to be around, not a drag.
I want to love people. like really LOVE them. unconditionally. like Jesus loves me. I want to be used by God for something bigger than myself. I'm so thankful that He is the Redeemer of our souls, and can take a lump of dirt like me and shape it into something useful and beautiful. clearly, He has His work cut out for Him :)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Dorothy
it has always been a secret desire of mine to help an old lady rake her leaves. partly because both of my grandmas live in distant lands and I rarely see them. partly because I NEVER get to rake leaves. like ever. (woah, I almost just burst into song there...)
you know like in Frog and Toad when they both want to do something nice for the other, so they go to each other's houses and rake the other's leaves into a great big pile? I think a brisk wind blows all their work to smithereens, BUT it is filled with amphibious love and all that raking looked like fun. this must have been the seed that planted such a love of raking leaves in my heart. I know most people don't share this love...clearly they never read Frog and Toad as children.
so there I was today, strolling merrily along various residential streets on my lunch break, breathing in the crisp autumn air, watching someone paint a house, smelling cut grass, feeling the crunch of fall beneath my feet WHEN! I saw her. a frail, little old lady bent over a rake, slowly brushing leaves into a pile. she looked up and I said a rather exuberant, "hello!" she sort of said hi back, but it didn't look like she was having the best day. I took a few more steps but knew this moment was destined. if that had been my dear old Grams I would never let her rake her own leaves if I was there to do it. I wanted to be a grandkid and do grandkid things. I turned back, "want me to help you rake your leaves?" "huh?" apparently she was hard of hearing..."want me to HELP you RAKE your LEAVES?!" I guess the answer was yes because in a minute she had gotten an extra rake and between her and me we scared every last one of those brown leaves out of that little lawn and onto the side of the road. I thought she was a crabby old lady at first, but she warmed up in a few minutes and soon we were gabbing along merrily. she told me all about her European cruise this past summer and how Iceland wasn't at all what she had imagined. she told me about her African safari trip the year before and how she liked her tour guide so much she brought him over to live with her for a month. she wished he could stay, but it would be impossible to get him a green card...
as I listened to her talk I felt like I was in heaven. grandkid heaven. in my mind we were sitting all cozy-like over a cup of tea...cookies just to the side...like I would imagine grandmas and granddaughters do. I wanted to hear all about her life and her family and her trips across the world. I wanted to know if she was ever married and what her life had been like growing up. I sort of wanted to ask her if she would adopt me as an honorary grandchild. but before I got too carried away with my daydreaming I said goodbye and jogged back in time for my afternoon shift.
a smile stuck on my face for the rest of the day. I got a whole lot more than just a fuzzy feeling of fulfilling a lifelong dream. I had made a friend.
you know like in Frog and Toad when they both want to do something nice for the other, so they go to each other's houses and rake the other's leaves into a great big pile? I think a brisk wind blows all their work to smithereens, BUT it is filled with amphibious love and all that raking looked like fun. this must have been the seed that planted such a love of raking leaves in my heart. I know most people don't share this love...clearly they never read Frog and Toad as children.
so there I was today, strolling merrily along various residential streets on my lunch break, breathing in the crisp autumn air, watching someone paint a house, smelling cut grass, feeling the crunch of fall beneath my feet WHEN! I saw her. a frail, little old lady bent over a rake, slowly brushing leaves into a pile. she looked up and I said a rather exuberant, "hello!" she sort of said hi back, but it didn't look like she was having the best day. I took a few more steps but knew this moment was destined. if that had been my dear old Grams I would never let her rake her own leaves if I was there to do it. I wanted to be a grandkid and do grandkid things. I turned back, "want me to help you rake your leaves?" "huh?" apparently she was hard of hearing..."want me to HELP you RAKE your LEAVES?!" I guess the answer was yes because in a minute she had gotten an extra rake and between her and me we scared every last one of those brown leaves out of that little lawn and onto the side of the road. I thought she was a crabby old lady at first, but she warmed up in a few minutes and soon we were gabbing along merrily. she told me all about her European cruise this past summer and how Iceland wasn't at all what she had imagined. she told me about her African safari trip the year before and how she liked her tour guide so much she brought him over to live with her for a month. she wished he could stay, but it would be impossible to get him a green card...
as I listened to her talk I felt like I was in heaven. grandkid heaven. in my mind we were sitting all cozy-like over a cup of tea...cookies just to the side...like I would imagine grandmas and granddaughters do. I wanted to hear all about her life and her family and her trips across the world. I wanted to know if she was ever married and what her life had been like growing up. I sort of wanted to ask her if she would adopt me as an honorary grandchild. but before I got too carried away with my daydreaming I said goodbye and jogged back in time for my afternoon shift.
a smile stuck on my face for the rest of the day. I got a whole lot more than just a fuzzy feeling of fulfilling a lifelong dream. I had made a friend.
Monday, October 8, 2012
living in an apple barrel
people. I'm surrounded by them. sometimes I wish I wasn't. I'd rather be surrounded by apples.
at least...I wish I could pick the best apples out of the bunch and throw the mushy, brown ones away. you know the kind - the kind that look tasty but only end up getting stuck in your teeth and leaving you with bad breath? those kind. and I'm talking about apples in a very figurative way. in other words, the people who take your nice happy day and sour it with their bad day. you know the saying 'one bad apple spoils the whole bunch?'. well it's also true that 'one person's bad day spoils everyone else's'. it takes just one person to be critical, or complain, or step on your toe, and immediately you're in a bad mood. that is, if you let yourself.
which in my case, is faaaar too easy to do.
and then there's those rare people you happen to come across every now and again who just brim over with good-apple-ness. you want to be next to them to see if it will rub off. they're crisp and delicious to the core and when you hang out with them you always leave feeling like you've tasted just a tiny bit of heaven. they encourage you. they strengthen you. they refresh you.
it makes me kind of wonder which apple I am.
at least...I wish I could pick the best apples out of the bunch and throw the mushy, brown ones away. you know the kind - the kind that look tasty but only end up getting stuck in your teeth and leaving you with bad breath? those kind. and I'm talking about apples in a very figurative way. in other words, the people who take your nice happy day and sour it with their bad day. you know the saying 'one bad apple spoils the whole bunch?'. well it's also true that 'one person's bad day spoils everyone else's'. it takes just one person to be critical, or complain, or step on your toe, and immediately you're in a bad mood. that is, if you let yourself.
which in my case, is faaaar too easy to do.
and then there's those rare people you happen to come across every now and again who just brim over with good-apple-ness. you want to be next to them to see if it will rub off. they're crisp and delicious to the core and when you hang out with them you always leave feeling like you've tasted just a tiny bit of heaven. they encourage you. they strengthen you. they refresh you.
it makes me kind of wonder which apple I am.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
who needs a therapist
Me: 'I don't know why I can't just be friends with a guy...'
Anna: 'but abby, you're pretty.'
Me: 'I'm not that pretty.'
Anna: 'but abby, you're fun to be around.'
Me: 'I'm not that fun to be around.'
Anna: '...well, I know that. and you know that...'
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
on a cloudy day
Dear Lady with the Springer Pup
walking on down the road
I was only thinking of some exercise
when I passed you.
then you complemented the weather
saying how refreshing it was after a rain
funny...I had just heard someone complaining
that it was wet.
funny thing perspective is.
I like yours the best.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone
quite so short
I felt like I was bending in half
to look into your kind brown eyes
beneath those wisps of retiring hair.
we chatted about the weather
and then your dog that tried to bite me
she was really 'quite a dear'
you assured me, and for some reason
I believed you.
I think I would have believed anything you said.
you just had that way about you.
you asked where I lived...quite a piece
but you lived just down the road
in that 'brown house'
then 'it was nice talking to you'
with the most genuine simplicity
and a smile that warmed my very heart
we parted ways
but you left a skip in my step
yes, the air was very refreshing
and so was our meeting
thank you Lady,
when I am old and shrunken in size
I hope my eyes still sparkle
and my heart still sings a song
just like you.
walking on down the road
I was only thinking of some exercise
when I passed you.
then you complemented the weather
saying how refreshing it was after a rain
funny...I had just heard someone complaining
that it was wet.
funny thing perspective is.
I like yours the best.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone
quite so short
I felt like I was bending in half
to look into your kind brown eyes
beneath those wisps of retiring hair.
we chatted about the weather
and then your dog that tried to bite me
she was really 'quite a dear'
you assured me, and for some reason
I believed you.
I think I would have believed anything you said.
you just had that way about you.
you asked where I lived...quite a piece
but you lived just down the road
in that 'brown house'
then 'it was nice talking to you'
with the most genuine simplicity
and a smile that warmed my very heart
we parted ways
but you left a skip in my step
yes, the air was very refreshing
and so was our meeting
thank you Lady,
when I am old and shrunken in size
I hope my eyes still sparkle
and my heart still sings a song
just like you.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
menu [mind] washing
a mile high. at least, that's how they appeared. the stack of menus that still had to be cleaned loomed before me. my shift was technically done as it was after 9pm, but I hadn't gotten any side work done beforehand as I'd been helping Dolan buss tables since 5. why? because he is slow, I needed to seat people somewhere and, well, I actually secretly like bussing. I think I got a little carried away tonight and then by the time I looked at the clock it was time to go and I couldn't.
I started on the stack and my mind flitted across my day...
I had the morning off and so overslept. I should have worked out, but I didn't. I should have finished cleaning my room, but I got so tired thinking about it that I took a nap instead. I had the weirdest nap dream (why IS that?). it mostly consisted of everyone at the restaurant morphing into frightening creatures. it should have been a warning...
in real life, everything went wrong at work and everyone was annoyed/annoying. I ripped my shirt and everyone and their mother (and the owner in my case) had to tell me. I lost the back of my earring diving under a table to retrieve scattered crayons. attempting to seat a certain gentleman I bussed and set 3 tables before I cleared one he liked. the day was gloomy and I was moody and I had almost reached my snapping point. the next person who walked in 10 min after closing and wanted a table or mentioned my shirt or complained to me about their bad day, I was going to punch.
it was at this moment I remembered a text I had received yesterday. my friend had said, 'God will give you just what you need.'
I began thinking on this. He will give me what I need. in fact, He has given me what I need. I have a whole well-spring of life and grace and peace inside of me because of Jesus. I have a reason to rejoice! I have a reason to wipe down every last menu with enthusiasm! not because it's great fun but because I have the creator of this world as my best friend. how can I possibly have a bad day?
we have a hope sooo beyond this world, so beyond the muck and mire and everyday aggravating tasks that make us want to scream. we have a reason to smile through it all. Lord help this change my attitude, my night and my life.
'and let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart' - gal. 6:9
I started on the stack and my mind flitted across my day...
I had the morning off and so overslept. I should have worked out, but I didn't. I should have finished cleaning my room, but I got so tired thinking about it that I took a nap instead. I had the weirdest nap dream (why IS that?). it mostly consisted of everyone at the restaurant morphing into frightening creatures. it should have been a warning...
in real life, everything went wrong at work and everyone was annoyed/annoying. I ripped my shirt and everyone and their mother (and the owner in my case) had to tell me. I lost the back of my earring diving under a table to retrieve scattered crayons. attempting to seat a certain gentleman I bussed and set 3 tables before I cleared one he liked. the day was gloomy and I was moody and I had almost reached my snapping point. the next person who walked in 10 min after closing and wanted a table or mentioned my shirt or complained to me about their bad day, I was going to punch.
it was at this moment I remembered a text I had received yesterday. my friend had said, 'God will give you just what you need.'
I began thinking on this. He will give me what I need. in fact, He has given me what I need. I have a whole well-spring of life and grace and peace inside of me because of Jesus. I have a reason to rejoice! I have a reason to wipe down every last menu with enthusiasm! not because it's great fun but because I have the creator of this world as my best friend. how can I possibly have a bad day?
we have a hope sooo beyond this world, so beyond the muck and mire and everyday aggravating tasks that make us want to scream. we have a reason to smile through it all. Lord help this change my attitude, my night and my life.
'and let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart' - gal. 6:9
Sunday, September 23, 2012
several years after giving up...
...I am positively determined to master the violin. I took lessons for a year when I was...12? 13? I can't even remember. I learned how to play all 73 versions of 'twinkle, twinkle' and had just begun the task of learning minuet in G and such pieces when my teacher moved and I quit. but now the spark has been reignited. just tonight. I was driving home from work with the stars shining above me when I had an epiphone. I was meant for greater things than just counting cash drawers and bussing tables. I need to write, to create, to perform! we are created to be creative beings and I have pushed that vital part of me to the very backest of burners for the past two years. I've been a withering, browny, spotty, sickly leaf recently. working crazy hours doing 5 jobs at the same time...researching school stuff, studying for my GED (who knew I'd forget algebra the second I graduated), being in T's wedding, being all big and older. really I'm thankful for all the work - I prayed for it and it came, BUT I now know that I have to make time for what's important. and no, it's not making $ 24/7. it's creating. that is why I started to write again - even if it's just here on this blog. if I am the only one who ever reads this, it will be worth it. because I need to. at least for now.
furthermore, I need to make music - which is also a forgotten part of me. a Nightwish concert this past weekend reminded me, then asking to help out with worship at church this morning - realizing I have nothing to contribute but some badly placed chords on the piano and my weak little voice.
so I shall pick up violin again. I will practice until my fingers bleed. I will be fearless, I will be flawless, I will be famous!!!
...maybe not. BUT perhaps such fantasies will motivate me to at least move beyond 'up above the world so high' - or, at least the first 10 versions.
first step: buy a violin directly and without delay.
well...maybe I should wait until morning.
furthermore, I need to make music - which is also a forgotten part of me. a Nightwish concert this past weekend reminded me, then asking to help out with worship at church this morning - realizing I have nothing to contribute but some badly placed chords on the piano and my weak little voice.
so I shall pick up violin again. I will practice until my fingers bleed. I will be fearless, I will be flawless, I will be famous!!!
...maybe not. BUT perhaps such fantasies will motivate me to at least move beyond 'up above the world so high' - or, at least the first 10 versions.
first step: buy a violin directly and without delay.
well...maybe I should wait until morning.
Friday, September 21, 2012
no wal-mart, no wendy's, no problem.
what a piddily town I live in. so piddily in fact that it does not even have a post office...how sad is this? it's like I live nowhere. in the middle of a world full of thriving towns with their very own names, but having to borrow your neighboring town's name. we have a ski resort people. and a cider mill. and a cemetery. get with it. but yes, that pretty much sums up the list of sights. I think we had a gas station once... a one-pump, broken down, poor little thing. I guess it gave up.
you know what's weird? I don't wish I'd grown up anywhere else. in fact, I have a strange sort of love for the place. when I was knee-high to a toad's stool I could roam 3 miles in all directions and never hit a main road. I could ride our horses through fields and woods and up dirt trails without meeting anyone. I never have to shut my blinds. there are no limits to what size our bonfires can be. I can sing my lungs out on my porch. I can go streaking...
all this to say, there are definitely benefits to living where I do...in my piddily, hilly, corn fieldy, post-office-less town. now excuse me while I go sunbathe on my roof.
you know what's weird? I don't wish I'd grown up anywhere else. in fact, I have a strange sort of love for the place. when I was knee-high to a toad's stool I could roam 3 miles in all directions and never hit a main road. I could ride our horses through fields and woods and up dirt trails without meeting anyone. I never have to shut my blinds. there are no limits to what size our bonfires can be. I can sing my lungs out on my porch. I can go streaking...
all this to say, there are definitely benefits to living where I do...in my piddily, hilly, corn fieldy, post-office-less town. now excuse me while I go sunbathe on my roof.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
because the little bug went 'achoo'
I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. this rarely happens as I usually wake up famished out of my mind and consume my usual bowl of cheerios and granola before I can really open my eyes. however, this morning I awoke with a returning headache...it has plagued my week 3 times so far. apparently tylenol doesn't scare it for too long. whilst I waited for the acetaminophen to kick in I made myself a delicious pot of tea and consumed half a pan of brownies. then I just couldn't stop snacking all day.
because I ate the brownies I wasn't too hungry for lunch, so I had a small salad. then since I didn't eat a good lunch I was hungry before dinner....so I ate crackers and cheese while peeling potatoes. I ate ice cream out of the carton while they baked. then just before bed I ate blueberry buckle and sweet bread. now I feel like an oomph-loompa.
lesson of the day: always eat breakfast.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
next stop: shapaholics anonymous
blue skinnies. I've wanted them for several months now. coveting them actually. they're just one of those items I knew I really needed. not for any practical reason mind you, but simply because I mentally inventoried my closet and found a sad lack of fun, spunky clothing. I have plain t's, a stack of dull-colored dress pants and a row of summer skirts I never wear. for this lovely season of autumn I have practically nothing to wear but the same outfits I've had for 3 years. totally unacceptable.
I will admit...I am far too frugal for my own good and almost never buy anything unless it's clearance or at a second-hand store. I hardly ever go to the movies and I always ask to split food at restaurants (much to Anna's chagrin who is against saving $ of any kind).
but today I took the plunge. I bought blue skinny jeans. deliciously blue. fitted to perfection. and totally NOT on the clearance rack.
the best part?...
I feel absolutely no regret.
I will admit...I am far too frugal for my own good and almost never buy anything unless it's clearance or at a second-hand store. I hardly ever go to the movies and I always ask to split food at restaurants (much to Anna's chagrin who is against saving $ of any kind).
but today I took the plunge. I bought blue skinny jeans. deliciously blue. fitted to perfection. and totally NOT on the clearance rack.
the best part?...
I feel absolutely no regret.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
of rain and cement trucks
rain makes me sleepy. it rained all day today. and all day long all I wanted to do was curl up somewhere near a window and sleep. instead I worked from morning til evening with a raging headache and the knowledge that tomorrow I would do the same. and the next day. oh, and yes, I work weekends now too. BUT it was a nice idea...thinking about sleeping :p
I scribbled this out at the office today between patients:
what a thoughtful descension
rain is to rhyme
a steady sensation
removing the grime
from the colorless street
well-trodden and dreary
cleansing a mind
laden and weary
with worries and cares
of present and past-tense
with a touch of despair
and such frivolous nonsense
the pitter-patter of droplets
distracts from the pathetic
lifting my spirits
to the poetically aesthetic
if only the rain
would continue to fall
my pen would keep writing
and my troubles would stay small.
see...I feel better already! :D I actually had a nightmere last night about work. tomorrow is my first day working a volume (all day) at the restaurant and in my dream the only vehicle available for me to hitch a ride with was a cement truck. the grease-ball driver man was in no hurry and I arrived an hour and a half late with the wrong clothes on. I hope that one doesn't come true. not only would I get fired but that would just be weird.
Monday, September 17, 2012
I want to be 7 again
I miss myself. the way I used to be. all happy and carefree all the time. no worries about school, jobs or car payments. no deadlines, tests or huge life changing decisions looming over me like expectant storm clouds. what the heck happened?
oh yeah, I turned 8 ;)
I used to climb trees because I had such hours to do such things. I used to do random photo shoots with Anna. I used to bake cookies for the fun of it and oh yeah, I used to blog! ha...
well, maybe nostalgia has kicked in for a moment. this morning I woke up with the world on my shoulders and a half written poem thrown on my bedroom floor. I need to write more. I know it's in me somewhere wanting to escape. then it gets choked out by being a stressed out old person. hence the 7 year old thoughts. and hence me writing on my poor forgotten blog that no one reads, haha. I wonder why.
today I will write. I will plan to dress up and do a photo shoot as soon as possible and heck, I may even climb a tree. it's time to be 7 again.
oh yeah, I turned 8 ;)
I used to climb trees because I had such hours to do such things. I used to do random photo shoots with Anna. I used to bake cookies for the fun of it and oh yeah, I used to blog! ha...
well, maybe nostalgia has kicked in for a moment. this morning I woke up with the world on my shoulders and a half written poem thrown on my bedroom floor. I need to write more. I know it's in me somewhere wanting to escape. then it gets choked out by being a stressed out old person. hence the 7 year old thoughts. and hence me writing on my poor forgotten blog that no one reads, haha. I wonder why.
today I will write. I will plan to dress up and do a photo shoot as soon as possible and heck, I may even climb a tree. it's time to be 7 again.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
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