...I am positively determined to master the violin. I took lessons for a year when I was...12? 13? I can't even remember. I learned how to play all 73 versions of 'twinkle, twinkle' and had just begun the task of learning minuet in G and such pieces when my teacher moved and I quit. but now the spark has been reignited. just tonight. I was driving home from work with the stars shining above me when I had an epiphone. I was meant for greater things than just counting cash drawers and bussing tables. I need to write, to create, to perform! we are created to be creative beings and I have pushed that vital part of me to the very backest of burners for the past two years. I've been a withering, browny, spotty, sickly leaf recently. working crazy hours doing 5 jobs at the same time...researching school stuff, studying for my GED (who knew I'd forget algebra the second I graduated), being in T's wedding, being all big and older. really I'm thankful for all the work - I prayed for it and it came, BUT I now know that I have to make time for what's important. and no, it's not making $ 24/7. it's creating. that is why I started to write again - even if it's just here on this blog. if I am the only one who ever reads this, it will be worth it. because I need to. at least for now.
furthermore, I need to make music - which is also a forgotten part of me. a Nightwish concert this past weekend reminded me, then asking to help out with worship at church this morning - realizing I have nothing to contribute but some badly placed chords on the piano and my weak little voice.
so I shall pick up violin again. I will practice until my fingers bleed. I will be fearless, I will be flawless, I will be famous!!!
...maybe not. BUT perhaps such fantasies will motivate me to at least move beyond 'up above the world so high' - or, at least the first 10 versions.
first step: buy a violin directly and without delay.
well...maybe I should wait until morning.
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